did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
