Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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