it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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