I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
