Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
