my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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