so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize