Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
