If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
