Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
