I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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