she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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