meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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