She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
