WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
