they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
