Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
