So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
