Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize