just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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