I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
