:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
