Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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