Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize