Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
