Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
