dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
