I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
