im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize