thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
