did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
