walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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