I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize