Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
