super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize