I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
