tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
