I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My dick has a subreddit
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
