porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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