do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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