I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Randomize
