you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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