Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i think my cat just said my name.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize