absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize