So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize