Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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