Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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