Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
