i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
