we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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