You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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