I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
