I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
