Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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