remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize