I was born with a shot glass in my hand
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
