if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
