He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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