YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
