He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
