The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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