i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
