my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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