For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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