She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Everclear isn't food dammit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
